I just wanted to share a little more about why I chose to concentrate in this blog on things that make me happy. I, like millions of others, suffer from depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed as a teenager, and have run the gamut of being misdiagnosed and prescribed the wrong drugs. I don’t try to hide my illness, but I’m quiet, and I keep to myself, and I’m not even positive that those closest to me know the extent of it. By nature, I’m not a complainer, so often, people think I’m busy or standoffish, because I don’t like bringing anybody down.
After trying several different prescriptions, I realized medication is not my thing. Of the drugs I was given, one was just the absolute wrong one, and the very first thing I was prescribed turned out to be an anti-psychotic. That didn’t work out well, and long story short, I switched doctors and tried other medications, but didn’t like the side effects or the way they made me feel. Zombie just doesn’t look good on me.
So, instead, I self-medicate in quite a few ways, and find it works best for me. It may be coloring one day and movies the next. It could be spending the day in a satin nightie or putting on some makeup and heels to go out. Most often, it’s prayer. I’m not particularly religious, and in fact, I don’t even go to church, but I often find prayer is what gets me through the day, and more importantly, the moments that are sometimes a struggle. No one thing works all the time, for me, and, yes, I do still have my dark days. What helps me is having an arsenal of things that make me smile.
What it all boils down to is that you have to do what works for you. Whether it’s conventional treatments or things that are a little wacky, if it makes you feel your best, and doesn’t harm anyone else, do it. You don’t need permission, and if people look at you strangely, hell…let ’em stare. In life, it doesn’t matter what you do; there will always be naysayers and people who judge. I say turn the music up and dance to whatever beat you see fit.
Also, if you ever need to talk, feel free to shoot me a message or email. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to an understanding stranger than to someone close who feels they have the right to judge. If not me, please, talk to someone. You’d be surprised at how the number of people who understand. I know that sometimes, in darkness, it can be hard to feel the sun will ever shine again. Sometimes, though, you have to reach out for some light. Grab it and hold on.
If there’s any one thing I would like you to take from this, it’s this:
Thanks for reading!